And Now We Have Everything

And Now We Have Everything

On Motherhood Before I Was Ready

Book - 2018
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O'Connell is a smart twentysomething who treats her pregnancy like a new project, researching and planning. She envisions a natural birth and a year of wholesome breast feeding. But things do not go as she expects. Life throws curveballs, and after 40 hours of contractions, she opts for a C-section. She manages to nurse for a year but resents her baby's control over her body. This is not a book about the wonders of motherhood but about the tension between culturally inherited ideals and the realities of lived, bodily experience.
Publisher: New York : Little Brown and Company, 2018
Edition: First edition
ISBN: 9780316393843
0316393843
Branch Call Number: 306.8743 Oc52o 2018
Characteristics: v, 230 pages ; 22 cm

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kawidman
Jan 02, 2020

O’Connell is candid and thoughtful (and her visceral description of giving birth will probably make anyone with a womb doubledown on their birth control) about the longing, pain, anxiety, desperation, and love that comes along with carrying a brand new person into the world, as well as what it looks like to renegotiate one’s relationship to the rest of the world.

j
jemschlem
Mar 25, 2019

This book so accurately describes how hard and amazing motherhood is, I want to purchase it in bulk and send to all the mothers I know. It made me feel like I was talking to a good friend, and I said "YES!! SO TRUE!!" out loud so many times. Do yourself a huge favor and read this book.

p
POPA3
Mar 03, 2019

A look behind the curtains that is also strangley familiar. I felt like I was listening to my friends inner monologue and liked it enough to hear all the hilarity, humility, fears and pains of mother-hood. Thank you for your candour O'Connell.

w
what_is_a_kindle
Sep 25, 2018

Yes! Yes! Yes! As the only thing I've ever mothered is several cats and a stray butterfly with a broken wing who REFUSED to eat a spoonful of apple sauce, I found this book VERY informative. If Beyonce can weigh 218 pounds when pregnant and wait 6 months before trying to lose her baby weight than so can human women! If I ever grow a baby, I will force anyone to read this first before interacting with me. #blessedbethefruit

JessicaGma Sep 06, 2018

I appreciated the ambivalent tone of the book where Meaghan wanted to have kids, and then realised she wasn't the "perfect" parent, and it's darn hard. Too much time and ink is spent on being the perfect parent with no cracks visible and how glamourous and wonderful being a mother will be, and, hey, turns out you can be depressed and unenthused about the tiny person you birthed. It's a good counterpoint.

t
taylorwoods
Jun 13, 2018

For someone like me who is still unsure of the prospect of becoming a parent to a human being, this book was so important and had my complete attention from the beginning. Meghan O'Connell wastes no time holding back on her true feelings in a world where mommy wars are rampant and every Pinterest mom has to have mason jars of pre-made baby food and crap. I can't fathom the idea of pushing a human out of me and then having to keep up an image because god forbid I didn't breast-feed my child or deliver vaginally.

This memoir really helped me have a different perspective that I think (or at least would imagine) parenting books leave out. The baby, who is left unnamed throughout, is a big character but not our main character. The main focus is on Meaghan and how she felt and what she experienced while attempting to take care of her baby and sustain her fragile relationship with her fiance. I really admired her for also opening up the discussion of postpartum depression, as this is one of my biggest fears of potential parenthood.

I recommend this book to all walks of people- parents, new parents, and those who like me are on the fence.

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